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Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health and psychology.
For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book – Why has nobody told me this before?
👉 https://linktr.ee/drjuliesmith
I think i love an avoidant… i’m not sure yet. Not sure if its the real deal or what ..
The only way to deal with this is to tell them off and dump them. I told my ex she had mental problems go take a hike. Thats what i did. I'm not gonna cater to this clown I was dating. I was in love quick. Why bother going through all these steps and listening to all these things to figure out. Kick her to the curb and get a new girlfriend…be strong .
Number 2 is definitely false…The one I know will dive head first into a new relationship
Thats me 💯 one i am adhd and two my partner is emotionally unavailable
So what am I supposed to do now??
Tried to date an avoidant, in the end I became an avoidant too lol
It isn’t automatically avoidant attachment style it might be a healthy reaction to pressure or pacing mismatch.
What a brave woman❤
How can I fix this?
I just hurt the love of my life and now that she's gone it hurts like hell.
I am am f**n avoidant and I hate that.
I have this really gay disease where I can only have sex with someone whose personality I like.
are you 38 living with you mom and ghosting high-value women who want/need nothing from you to chase a fantasy??
You just described my husband very well
I dated an avoidant for a year and a half. We went on 55 evening dates together (yes, I counted) as well as having lunch together 3 days a week. She kept saying to me she wasn't ready for a relationship each time but that she would "think about it" for us. This kept me on a leash. We texted each other morning, noon and night, 7 days a week for over a year (Most of her texts were difficult. She wouldn't respond to some questions, kept on responding without anything for me to reply too, and if I never responded to those texts, she'd keep texting until I replied). She told her friends and fam that she was "seeing someone" (me), but she labeled us as "just friends". I have a lot of patience and tolerance. However, when I kept chasing them, it was like a cat and mouse game. I got so annoyed, drained emotionally and physically, and I told her after a year and a half that we need to go our separate ways (I had to protect myself and my heart and my mental wellbeing). We stopped speaking and seeing each other for 5-6 months, and she assumed that I would just return to her (when I was ready lol) and accept her again. She was actually waiting for me. But when she realised that I was living my life and not needing her, she got curious and came after me. They believe and think that we will come back, because they are hard to replace with someone else.
I bought her Christmas and Birthday presents. She bought me nothing for mine (because if she did, she would admit responsibility). I took her to a fancy restaurant once, asked her at the table about having a relationship and she had a panic attack right in front of me in the restaurant. After evening date 50, we went to the cinema together. I leaned in to kiss her, and she had another panic attack and started shaking.
They want to control the dynamic, and will do, until you step away and show them life moves on.
They are wired differently and it is a disorder (AVPD).
She came from an enmeshed family. Perhaps where the link is.
I realised I have avoidant attachment style and everyone leaves me eventually. I have realised I'll never be able to make new relationships and also that it is good for the other person. I'll not be ruining someone else's life. I guess that's the only solution.
man i love nothing more then a grown woman playing with lego while trying to sound educated
Avoidants don't deserve the love a relationship brings. It's a completely selfish and childish behavior especially if they commit to someone
I used to be an anxious attachment style. After married to my ex who I feel like covert narc ( not sure), now, I've become an avoidant. Even with new friends I feel so hard to trust because I feel like they gonna backstab me😢
Wow, this is a mirror 😢
I am married to an avoidant person.. and he said that if you want money then ask .. don't expect anything other than that .. every relationship should have proper space in it .. and I love my space and freedom.. it's been 3 years .. I am hoping that something better will happen someday.. someday may things will change
I am
I really like your videos… I have learned a lot from you.
Nope. I am not avoidant for sure. I was anxious because I stayed with an avoidant. If I were secure, I would not have stayed with something like that.
It's just sad. That people have been hurt so badly and not been able to get out of it, so that they cannot trust others. I am someone who have been hurt. But that doesn't stop me. I seek clarity, honesty and intimacy. Intimacy I was never afraid of, but clarity and honesty was something I have worked on and now I'm great at it. But, the problem is… It feels impossible to find someone that wants so form a new, deep bond… It's honestly a tragedy. I have love to give and I want to receive. And in my mind, it seems effortless. I am not seeking harmony. I am seeking honesty. But… seems like not a lot of people want to try… And it's already incredibly hard to find someone as it is… I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel hopeless.
So? How to fix it??
Mmm, I am probably avoidant. Relying only on myself in dark times helped me to survive. I can´t imagine being in a relationship. Also, today you get rejected for any minimal "ick" quickly.
Yes I am 💯
How are they in a relationship?
😢
And the NUMBER 1 sign of avoidance …… AVOIDING !!!
Yes but i hate i! because to my code i know that is not. Who I am is who I’ve been made to be because of dealing with an avoidant.
No I’m just scared of women and I’m single and chill💀🧏🏻😎🥶
Can you start off of anxious but end up as avoidant due to trauma?
I was ready to give everything to my avoidant ex girlfriend and I did, but she lied to me and kept me at a distance after I had sacrificed myself to write a big part of her Master's thesis day in day out. I don't know what's wrong with you people, why you don't trust genuine people like us who drop all their ego to make you feel safe, just to be discarded like a used pair of socks. There was literally nothing else I could have done, to a point I had to break up to protect myself because I had to endure so much that the air was out. It's been three months and it hurts like hell as if it was yesterday, because you feel treated like an object that is no longer needed. I don't think she's narcissistic. She just doesn't question anything of the sabotaging things she does because how would she if she doesn't even know her inner world a bit?
As a anxious attachment person who struggles with needing reassurance and love and attention and sex at the age of 15 with a partner who hates them checking up and everything getting in the way of their gaming how do I be okay? I ask for support I idk why I’m commenting
that last one hit way to hard 😭 she is keeping me just out of reach, and is using me as a safety net because she knows that I am so emotionally tied to this
You didn’t give any music credit to Petit Biscuit 😠
I am not avoidant. I just need realible partner who is understand woman and I need to understand man. The concept of avoidant happened when we don't understand each other.
I'm stuck at #3 😢
Especially with women who been hurt we are mostly like this now to protect our hearts and mind and health. A narcissist does this because they lack emotions and empathy and not care to get close to a woman and they choose not to get close while we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt again big difference.
The catch is, avoidants never watch such videos 😂
Well damn.